I just want to say…

I think one of the reasons I started transiness is because I never wanted people to suffer the way I did, the way I held inside who I was at great personal expense – for the sake of a society that was not prepared to accept me.  When I first went to a support group, one of my first reactions was – oh god, there are others who feel the same way.  I thought I was mad.  I no longer felt alone in my struggle to keep myself hidden.  When I came out I cried for a week.  I cried for all those times I kept myself at bay, I cried for that girl, that teenager, that young adult forced to behave and act in a way she was not comfortable with.  I cried at her despair with her body.

It’s a long struggle that many transsexual women I have talked with share.  And it is by talking with other trans people that I realised how beautiful they are.  I realised how they kept themselves at bay, and how difficult it was for them.  I cried for my friends and their suffering.  Many people who suffer go on to help others in a similar situation, and this is how I became an activist.  I’m not angry.  I’m upset.  I’m upset because I see my friends being hurt by something that isn’t their fault.  I’m upset because we, as trans people,  try so hard to hold each other tightly – for fear of loss.  Because in every trans person, there is a part of me. And as I learned to love myself and care for myself and I learned to break my bonds, I learned to care for others like me. I hope in some way by helping others think differently about themselves, be proud to be who they are, that I can make a difference – however small that might be.  And I hope that people might be able to learn to see what I see in trans people.  In all the diversity… there is joy.

Rebecca.

One thought on “I just want to say…

  1. The word “Trans” throughout the world is dealt with a difference..a difference of attitude , a difference of quantification… hence anything which helps to lessen this “difference” and helps to find the “joy” out of the “diversity” is Welcoming …I thoroughly appreciate your initiative to start this website and love the words “In all the diversity..there is joy”
    Also I would like to mention along with the Transiness…the cleanliness and compactness of the website is also appealing !

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